Get Out of the Rut!

By Catherine Van Herrin

[ Non-fiction : Humour/Current Affairs/Survival/ ]

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There's one thing in life that I just really don't like -- that I don't see any use for whatsoever.

Now, I believe I'm a positive person, and I really try to give everything a good look-around. I have the kind of vision that, thankfully, allows me to see the big picture, and I really do try to look at things from all points of view. But I'm far from perfect, and there's just one thing I can find no excuse for: and that is, Excuses!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Yeah, but you don't know where I came from! I could NEVER do that," or, "Are you kidding? Who do you think would want to hire ME? I'm from," or, "Why should I go to college? Nobody around here ever did; they're doing fine."

The list goes on and on.

Because I really also don't like interrupting people, I have also learned to bite my tongue when I'm listening to someone whine on like this or give me their long, drawn-out sob story about why they can't do something that's been a secret dream for as long as they've lived, but refuse to let themselves believe they can achieve it.

I'll tell you why "excuses" drive me up a wall: I'm walking, talking PROOF that all these excuses are just that -- excuses!

I certainly wasn't "to the manor born," by any great stretch of the imagination. But I took stock of my intellect, my surroundings, and put the two together, realizing very early in life that just because I started out in one situation is no reason at all to believe I had to remain there.

It's like any self-fulfilling prophecy; sure, if a person wants to believe they're "stuck for life" in some situation, you can follow up in 10 years, and there they'll be, still grousing about how they are ashamed about how they live but "just can't do anything about it" or some such crazy-thinking nonsense.

Let's look at this scenario for a moment. First, we have no control over where -- or under what circumstances -- we come into this world. Armed with that knowledge, you'd think more people would realize that, "Hey, it isn't my fault I'm here; I'm not being punished, nor am I some kind of victim," and that they'd also come to the happy conclusion that, "I didn't have control over my earliest background or upbringing, but I sure have 100% control over my future, and I'm going to make certain I end up exactly where I want to be."

You'd think, right? But negativity breeds negativity. I'm sure you're familiar with the basic scientific physics of "like attracts like." That's what we're operating with here. Though that is a scientific fact, it doesn't mean that it can't be manipulated, controlled, or changed -- and that's how people get stuck. That's when you'll hear narrow-minded statements like, "We can't live in the South! For generations, our family has lived in New England!" or, "You're going to apply to THAT university? What are you thinking? They have only a 5% Asian-American rate!" or, better yet, "Yes, HE made it out of here, but HE's special. That kind of luck would never happen to me."

You believe it, it becomes your truth.

What's actually behind all these statements is basically one very self-destructive, demoralizing proclamation that some of us are just not voicing. It goes something like this: "I don't want to get out of my comfort zone; this is where I've always been, so I'm going to stay right here, thank you, even if it means I have to suffer. I won't have to change, and I won't have to try very hard in life. I'd prefer to take the path of least resistance. I'm closed off."

Once you begin to learn that YOU are in charge of your life plan -- and stop playing all these petty, even nefarious roles like Martyr and Victim (not leading roles, by the way, and I've heard the pay is pretty bad, also), THEN you'll be able to step up to the plate, go to bat, and knock that ball into any park in the world.

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