Nice Thongs!


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Nice Thongs!“Hey—I like your thongs! Where did you get them?” Those simple words, uttered in the falling darkness—thank the gods for that—flew out of my mouth before I knew what was happening. I cringed while my teenage daughter died a thousand deaths, wanting to pretend we weren’t strolling together down the small, heavenly beach on the Big Island of Hawaii.Hours earlier, my daughter, husband and I were waiting to get into a luau, for my birthday celebration. Suddenly I spotted one of my favorite actresses, Andie MacDowell, with a group of young teens, taking photos and laughing. I’m not the kind who can handle these “celebrity spottings” very well; the inner-me-self-conscious-little-insecure-girl longs to run and hide—as if I am the one being spotted. Needless to say, I took some deep breaths and busily pretended I didn’t see her.MacDowell was a part of the group in front of us, in line, so when the line moved, we all moved forward, together. It was difficult not to peer at her beauty, from the corner of my eyes. So naturally, I did. Interestingly enough, her group was seated near my husband, my daughter and me. And whenever she would get up to go to the food buffet, I was on my way, also. (It couldn’t have been more synchronous if I had attempted to plan it that way!) At least three times I ended up right behind her, inches away from her confidently swaying feminine body. Although I felt a kinship toward her and would have liked to talk about deeply spiritual issues, my lips were sealed. After dinner, singing/dancing entertainment and a fire-eating show, we decided to leave early, before it was over. We got up, began walking, and oddly enough, MacDowell was leaving also, with her young daughter. Passing by them, on the beach, while her daughter danced like a ballerina on the sand, I couldn’t contain myself any longer and I spouted—like a whale—those horrid-sounding words. I was talking about her sandals, actually, and the funny thing is, being close in age to one another, she knew exactly what I meant.Even though my daughter was uncomfortable about my chosen word, MacDowell was absolutely fine with it. And of course it wasn’t until after we left them enjoying one another, that I realized I could have said something more to the tune of, “I’ve always admired you as an actor and an oozingly self-confident woman—are you spiritual, as well?”It was the first thing my daughter and I talked about at breakfast the next morning. Luau? What luau? All we remembered were the thongs…Ruth Suli Urman
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