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Before I even start I want to make sure I clarify something. Not all children/adults with autism are the same. They have different experiences and different personalities just like someone who is neurotypical (someone that is not on the autism spectrum)
My son is 7 years old. He loves music. He's very mischievous. Loves to climb and run. He has the most infectious laugh and boy is he adorable. People always say to me "looking at him you would never think there's something wrong." When they say that I cringe a little. The "something wrong" part makes me cringe a little.
He's non-verbal. He does however mimic some of the things I might say or my friends and family. Or he might remember a song and sing a little bit of it. Not exactly in clear words but enough that I know what he's saying or singing. These occurrences are rare though but sweet. You must be thinking " so how does he communicate" Yea that's the hard part. He does a little bit of signs but that's mostly for food items lol. Food is the most motivating for him so his therapists and I started there. Other then that he brings me to things that he wants or gets it himself.
We definitely have our rough days when he wants to communicate but can't. Not being able to communicate he turns to aggression. I really don't wanna get into that part but lets just say we've both been hurt tons of times when he got upset. When I feel like I'm getting to emotional to handle the situation I will make sure he's safe and step away from the situation, cry, gather myself together and go back when I'm calm. He feeds off my energy and if I get upset it only makes things worse.
We also have really good days. We laugh. We watch music videos. He loves to be tickled or go to the park. He's very active. Definitely keeps me busy. He gives the best hugs and has the sweetest smile that will make you melt.
Now I can't speak for him. I have no idea how he feels on the inside since he can't tell me. I also can't tell you what its like for other families. I can only share what its like in my world being a single mom and not having much support. It can get tough. I don't have much of a social life. I had him really young so I've basically put my whole life on hold but I really wouldn't have it any other way. Yea I would love to go back to school and do something great but on the other hand I am doing something great. I'm a mom. Being a mom is the hardest but greatest job you can have. I've grown a lot. I've learned a lot about myself.
People don't really understand my situation. Why I can't go out or why I can't do something with my life and they never will understand it. Not unless they're in my shoes themselves. It hurts sometimes when friends or family just don't get it but there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to continue to do the right thing in my eyes and that's just be there for my son. I have no problem with being there for him until I get a little time to focus on me. At least I know I'm doing my best and trying my best to be a good mother to this amazing child that deserves the world.
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