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A Typical Day At The Last Chance Saloon
A typical day at the Last Chance Saloon, for several of it's inhabitants starts off somewhat like this. Jimmy, a 70ish year old man, leaves his small kitchenette apartment and goes to the management office at approximately 7:15 am to get his first cup of coffee. Sarah and her husband take their coffee from their one bedroom apartment and go outside to have a cigarette. Now depending on where Jimmy and the CL (crazy lady whose name no one knows for sure) are located, they either go to the front of the building to sit on the bench, or the back where their car is parked. If by some chance Tom, husband of Sarah has already left for work, Sarah will go sit on the bench or at one of the 3 picnic tables located in the barbeque area, depending once again on where Jimmy and the CL are located, or if they aren't occupied by any over-niters.
It really is quite sad to keep calling her the CL, but each time she tells you her name it is not only something different from the day before, but is also accompanied with a new story about her life history, or the same story she told yesterday. Her biggest problem of course, is that she is lonely for company and just wants to talk to someone. If there is no one for her to talk to, she simply stands at the door and talks to herself, because that is where she can see her reflection best. So, to be perfectly honest about it, I suppose that she has sort of earned the nickname. Along with the fact that she talks to her reflection and claims to have a dog named White Paws, which is actually a dog in one of the pictures on a calendar she has shown everyone, she can also go off in a Dallas second, and clear a room faster than a colony of bees. She also is a smoker, however, she insist that the bench outside be moved away from the ash tray that adorns the outside of the building. The Last Chance Saloon, like most other places is a non smoking building. However, one day last week, Sarah was not in the mood for any of CL's Stories, nor did she want the bench moved. So, when CL approached the bench and demand it be moved, Sarah simply looked at her and said nope. Everyone pretty much will give in to her demand to move the bench, just to escape one of her tirades about it being too close because it is attached to the top of the trash can and she doesn't want to smell the trash which hasn't been emptied yet. But on this particular day, Sarah wasn't about to give that bench up. Sarah is a nature lover, who does not believe in throwing cigarettes on the ground, nor flicking your ashes on the ground. She fears it could start a ground fire and burn the beautiful surroundings.
Most of the people who live at the Last Chance Saloon live on one side, while the over-night guests stay on the other side. Sarah, like CL, has her habits also. She walks for exercise taking her dog with her, and picks up the cigarette butts she finds on the ground as well as any trash she finds. Then she deposits it the trash can by the door. This habit drives CL even crazier than CL drives everyone else, and she has complained about it to the owners on several occasions. Heck, they don't mind, at least it proves to them that someone loves their home, just as much as the owners love it. After all, it is quaint and still nestled in the foothills, and only once since opening up, has their been anything close to a ground fire. That was set because of a careless over-niter, who caught the barbeque pit on fire. They were also made to leave immediately, and the owners were even nice enough to refund their money.
But, I guess I need to get back to the morning that Sarah refused to move the bench. CL was rather taken aback by Sarah's refusal. She stood there for a second, then turned and walked back into the office with her coffee. Sarah thought she might actually get to spend the rest of her morning in peace, watching the squirrels at play. However, CL decided differently. She came back out, then stood close to the ash tray/trash can and began to talk to her reflection, explaining why they could not sit down on the bench. Sarah just sat there, ignoring the on going conversation, that is until CL pulled out her calendar. She then began to explain to White Paws why they couldn't sit down on the bench in a rather loud voice, which brought quite a few people out of their rooms to see what all the ruckus was about. As Sarah continued to sit quietly by, everyone else began to gather around. Sarah just shrugged her shoulders when people looked at her inquiringly. CL on the other hand, began to explain to the whole darn crowd why she and White Paws weren't allowed to sit down. One by one people just shook their heads and headed back to their rooms. The owners were listening through the window and decided it was high time to do something about this encounter, mainly out of fear I do believe. As I said, CL apparently was having one of her tirade moments and even though she had never physically attacked anyone, they decided they had better not take the chance. Sarah was after all disabled physically and no one really knew whether CL was actually disabled, or if this was all just an act to always be in the limelight. So, they decided to remove the bench permanently. After Sarah got up, she very quietly looked over at CL and then she spoke. “WELL CL, IT APPEARS THAT EVERYONE AROUND HERE WILL HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS, DOESN'T IT”.
“Yep, sure does Sarah. Everyone other than me, you and White Paws”. Sarah just smiled shook her head and started back to her apartment. CL moved the ash tray/trash can and continued to talk to White Paws and her reflection, asking White Paws why Sarah had called her CL.
The owners just smiled at each other and life continued on as normal for the rest of the day. After all, they had the best of the best living at that quaint little spot located in the foothills, and they knew that all of the over-niters would have a great little story to talk about as they continued on to their destination.
Copyright A.J. Angerstein 04/27/2013
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