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The world wants to know your story



December 16 2009


Tables turn. Life changes from second to second, and when you close your eyes, the world is completely different when you open them. Someone you thought loved you, doesn’t. Someone may hate you. The emotions of the time; the days gone past blend together, as if daylight and darkness are battling for the right to exist. The clouds overhang, and gently the sun tries it’s best to shine through, even tho the darkness still looms silently in the background. The person who claims Christianity, doesn’t always live by those words, except in his own eyes. Then he tries to persuade others and justifies it by saying, “but I am a man of God, and God told me to tell you these things.” In the next second, he is in his garage screaming at the hammer that fell on his foot with a string of four letter words and paragraphs that would make a sailor blush.
Life changes, daily, hourly, every second it is something different. But, then unfortunately, you can’t have the good, without experiencing the bad, or you would never know the good. You would never know joy, without knowing sadness, or love without knowing hate. There could never be death without life, or life without death. There are just too many lessons to learn in one short span of earthly existence whether it be 100 years or 3 hours. And that is why Jennah had formed a belief in reincarnation, and that you just keep repeating it until you learn those lessons, or settle the intricate details of the past lives. She didn’t know how it worked, nor did understand the particulars. But, she did know there was more to the world than the human eye could comprehend without looking at it thru the soul, with the heart and examining it thoroughly. Life was just too complicated, hypocrisy ran amuck and the world in general was just plain screwed up. If you didn’t believe it, all you do was close your eyes for a second and open them again.

Jennah’s eyes opened suddenly, her body jerking violently. The dream had caused her heart to pound, producing a fear that had awaken her suddenly. It wasn’t the first dream, there had been many of them. Some of them repeated themselves, others were newly formed ones. In this particular one she had seen a little boy, fighting desperately for breath, dirty, trapped in a hole in the ground. She didn’t know where, but she knew the child’s name, and she knew her friends hand a child by that name. Even though it was 3 am she called them to check on the child, to her husbands dismay. Fortunately, the child was safe in his bed, but Jennah knew, that somewhere in this big old world a little boy was terrified. She wanted to call the police, but her husband had been very adamant about not doing that.
“What??” He had exclaimed. “Are you nuts, these dreams have got to stop. We live in a small community, I have a job, no one should ever know about these dreams, they will think you are crazy. Besides, you don’t know for sure, it was just a dream.” However, it still bothered her and what if the child died, because she didn’t call. She worried about it all day, refusing to listen to the news for fear of the worst. When her husband came home from work that evening, he just looked at her. He sighed, turned and walked to the fridge and got a beer. “Are they ever going to stop? Well, at least the child was found safely. It’s all over the news; knowing you, I would bet my bottom dollar you haven’t heard it. If you had you would be gloating by now, saying see, you should have let me call. Look, I don’t know or understand why the dream came to you, the child lives over two hundred miles away. I just hope you didn’t say anything to anyone. Not about this one, or the last one, or the times before. I can live with these dreams of yours, but what about the kids? Do you want them to be ridiculed, or have us kicked out of town, because you are a what? A Witch, a whatever you call it? Besides, my mother would throw fits if she found out. Can’t you just suppress it? Tommy and I discussed it, and he promised not to tell anyone about your phone call this morning. Please just,,, oh hell, just keep your mouth shut about it, and forget these things happen”, and then he walked out to the back yard. Jennah vowed right then and there to herself that she would do just that, and not put her kids or her husbands budding career in danger. She would just keep her mouth shut, and not speak of it. Besides, he was a good father, and she didn’t dare take the chance that he might have her locked away in some nut house. Her first husband had tried to do that, just like Dorrie wanted to do, right after he held a shotgun to her head. This one had already suggested counseling in another city, where no one knew them. Jennah's state of life otherwise, was fine so far but now, once again, the request was being made to just keep her mouth shut. Unfortunately for Jennah, the urge to speak out was becoming more demanding. Over the next 15 years It became too demanding, and Jennah found herself facing life alone. Maybe it was the dream that finally got to him. Or perhaps it was just the fact that she had known in advance that his step father was going to die. Perhaps it was her friendship with someone else who was a soul mate. Whatever the reason her husband had decided he could no longer live with any of the weird stuff and the dreams and the writing. He couldn't live with the new Jennah either. The old Jennah had been just fine for him.
Then one day, Katrina came into her life, thru a friend named Nahani. Katrina changed her life forever. She took Jennah under her wing, and along with Nahani’s Grandfather Jennah began to accept herself. She began to understand that life for her, would continue to be erratic. For awhile she traveled, living and working in National Parks. Then she fell ill. She got the chicken pox at the age of 44 and was quarantined in Death Valley for 6 weeks. When she finally was released by the doctor, she packed her bags and started out to find herself once again. She left the grave site she had found far behind. She knew it had been hers from a previous life, but this time she had survived the Valley of Death. As time went on she became more and more aware of life and what it was really all about. She became a commercial driver and toured the
country, making mental images in her head. She kept in touch with her children, and loved her grand children like there was no tomorrow.
She fell in love with the big trees of Sequoia, and with the Arches of the desert. She experienced life from almost every aspect and made friends all over. The one thing she didn’t do was stay in touch with her biological family, and when Ashe had died so did the relationship with the rest of them. It didn't really matter that much anymore anyway.
Jimmy was the only one she kept in contact with, and he never really told Dorrie . She called only occasionally to check on her. She did stay in touch tho, with the people who were important. She climbed mountains, and slid down rainbows, so to speak. She learned to dance and reunited with her childhood friend from many years ago. She walked the banks of the Colorado River, and went on a smooth water rafting trip, and drove ski buses up in Rockies. She went from ocean to ocean, and border to border. She sprinkled ashes of loved ones, whom she had met in the great flight of life. She had raised her children and felt like she had done a fairly decent job of it. After all, they didn't turn out drug addicts, or on death row. What more could a mother ask for? Then one night she met the last man she would ever form a relationship with. His name was Justin, and he was a lot younger than her. But his deep eyes, and dark hair, combined with that dazzling smile swept her completely off her feet. He didn’t understand her gifts or her abilities, but then he didn’t care, he would learn to for he loved her. He made it his goal in life to protect her, to teach her to trust again, to love again. She had lost too much, she had been abused mentally and physically by one too many people. She had lost all trust in anything but God. Justin wanted to help her get those things back.
So one morning, sitting in a cafe he proposed marriage. He had known her for over 4 years and wasn’t willing to wait a second longer for her to become his wife. That after noon they crossed the Arizona border and stood under the American Flag in the state of Nevada and tied the knot. The knot that would last for the rest of Jennahs life.

When it came to early mornings, Jennah was a creature of habit. She would rise by
seven am., put on a pot of coffee, turn on the computer,take care of personal needs and grab a fresh pack of smokes out of the freezer. Then she would get her coffee and sit at the big desk with a view of the mountains through the bay windows. Jennah didn’t like the blaring of a radio or television. She preferred songs of earth creatures such as robins and crickets. If she was on the road she followed the same routine, with a picnic

table and a laptop substituting for the desk and computer. Because her life
moved too fast for comfort, mornings were the only time Jennah felt completely in control.
“Good morning, you going to answer that phone?” Justin asked sleepily as he poured a cup of coffee.
“I was thinking more of unplugging the damn thing. I already know who it is.” Jennah looked at Justin as he settled on the couch and lit a cigarette. The look in her eyes told him what she was thinking.
“You don’t know that for sure,” he replied. “It could be your publisher or maybe that contest guy, telling you that you’ve won a million dollars.” Jennah threw her head back in laughter. “Sure, it could be, but it isn’t. I’m telling you, it’s her. Today is my fathers birthday, and the fifth anniversary of my brothers funeral. It is definitely my mother calling to remind me of these events.”
“Your father has been dead for over twenty years, and just because your brother was buried on his birthday…”
“means that she has a double reason to call me and ruin my day. Wait until you meet her. Then maybe you will understand.” Jennah turned back to the computer. Justin refilled both of their cups and pulled up a chair next to her. When the phone started ringing again, he reached over and grabbed it.
“Well, good morning Dorrie,” he said solicitously. “Yes, it would be nice to meet you. Unfortunately that isn’t possible right now. Uh, no she isn’t, she’s in the shower. Yeah, I know, she remembered. We were just talking about it over coffee this morning.” Justin promised that he would tell Jennah she had called. He made an excuse about Jennah not having time to get back to her, because they had appointments in town, and they needed to get on the road.
“Try not to think about these things,” he said. Go out and play Bingo or something. Okay, well we love you too.”Justin shook his head and let out a long sigh as he hung up the phone. Jennah smiled at him. “See, I told you it was her. I can’t remember a time when she didn’t do or say something that upset me. You would think that after all these years of this, I would be used to it.”
Jennah had no good memories of her mother or that grim place she was born. She often said she wished her mother had offered her for adoption rather than just giving her away to her grandparents.
“Well,” she said glumly, reaching for the phone, “I guess I had better give Momma a call and let her know that my mother is on one of her kicks today.”
As she talked to the woman she considered her momma, her mood improved and she was smiling when she hung up the phone. Justin went in to grab a quick shower, but not before reaching down and unplugging the phone. When he got out Jennah was sitting on the couch in deep thought. He knew in her mind she was going over the events of the past 40 something years and needed to get her into another mode. He knew that she would call back, and he wanted to get Jennah out of the house. "How bout us taking a day off, we could do some hiking, have a picnic lunch, do some shopping. It's still early, the animals will be fine, we won't be gone overnight. Maybe we could even take a short trip this weekend to Sedona. You've been hitting those keys pretty hard this week."
“Yeah, okay let’s go,” Jennah said finally, and set her coffee cup on the counter. As she turned the computer off and got up to get dressed, she whispered “Thank you”. Justin overheard her but didn’t answer. He knew who she was talking to, and it wasn’t him.
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