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Star Wars!
[ Non-fiction : Humour/ ]

If you ever wanted to know what a villager from a remote village of India would be like in Venezuela, you got to read ASKI! Here!

Hitting the stars! Would you imagine what a villager would undergo if sent to Spanish speaking country and lodged in a seven star hotel! Here is the first hand experience from the villager. A first time international business trip needs such excruciating formalities like visa and all. After a wait of about 20 days and with the visa stamped I took the journey to airport starry eyed and all. With no clue to what went inside the head of my business associate who dropped a $900 into my pockets for a transatlantic trip. I had no credit card and I knew nobody over there. I had no clue how long I would have to stay. Having no idea whatsoever on the impending goof ups I boarded the AF to Paris. Charles de Gaulle was so marvelous but I could not locate a health facet in the toilet. I never thought that I would use toilet paper in my life. With no idea on how to use it I skipped the exercise and hopped onto my next flight to Caracas, Venezuela had to sacrifice my breakfast and lunch for fear of over loaded bowels.

With no clue to local lingo, I managed to scramble to the domestic airport and took a flight to a town called Puerto Ordaz where I was to meet my suppliers. Being a villager with little concern or knowledge about etiquettes and dressing, I was traveling as if I were visiting Patna to meet a fertilizer agent. I was expecting a middle aged Spaniard in business suit to receive me. I was hoping that he would be quite disappointed to meet his overseas buyer in a dark and stocky form with idiotic looks and a beseeching smile. Please note we have never met. When I managed to step out of the airport I was looking for him with my preconceived notion. A boy who resembled Titanic hero met me. He offered his hand and greeted me. I was shocked to find that my supplier was boyish and he was not in a business suit either! He introduced his friends Antonio and Juan who were quite young too and had no clue to English. I was then taken to my Hotel. The glitter all around made me look more foolish and I presumed any foreign country should be glittering. The hotel was superb in every respect. My suppliers politely asked me if I liked my suite (I was put in a suite in a 7 star hotel!). I said its ok my standard response to unclear situations. He thought I was not satisfied and suggested that we can always move out next day. We put off the decision and I retired to the room. It had a coffee maker, a refrigerator, high soft beds and hot/cold water jet. Carpeting was great and the air-conditioning was soothing.

Next day morning I woke up and tried to make coffee. Used to Indian village life style where the coffee is served to men, I never knew the art of making it. I went to the coffee maker and was puzzled. I had a pouch of Brazilian coffee next to the coffee maker. I took the pouch stuffed it behind the coffee maker, poured a jar of water and kept it in front (it was an exercise in reverse). I switched on the coffee maker and found no response. I cursed and went to the bathroom to take a shower. It was glistening and all stuff to clean every part of my body was neatly stacked. I looked in front of me and saw a gadget that had too many things to rotate. Used to a single shower over head, I had no clue which one to turn. Randomly I turned few and closed my eyes expecting a chill spray of water. Suddenly a spurt of steaming hot water hit me like bullets. By the time I opened my eyes it was too late. It was too hot and the bathroom was full of steam. I could not locate the knobs to open the door and was screaming. I somehow managed and ran out. On hearing the scream, the housekeeping rushed in swiping their electronic cards to open my main door. I was looking at three impeccably uniformed housekeeping staff all girls wide eyed! They were also looking at me wide eyed! It took a couple of seconds to realize that I was stark naked and dripping. I grabbed a towel and covered myself and showed the bathroom. Presuming something was wrong they peeped inside only to realize what I had done. One of them walked in and closed the jet. One of them turned to look at the coffee maker and almost fainted! If I the coffee worker had worked then I would have caused an electrical short circuit! I could sense that they were unable to suppress their laughter but managed a smile after all they are in the hospitality industry!

Hold on for my next outing here.

Article views: 4696


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