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IT's that time again. Time to just write. What about, I am not sure, unless it's just time to write. All of you writers out there in storyleap land know what I am talking about.
You sit at the keyboard and you think to yourself "WHAT DO I WRITE ABOUT? IS THIS WRITER'S BLOCK? NAHHHHHHHHH, THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING SPECIAL TO WRITE ABOUT. MAYBE ABOUT SEEING THAT BIG BALLOON IN THE AIR, HEARING ABOUT A WOMAN WHO THREW HER CHILD ACROSS THE ROOM AND GOT 25 YEARS FOR IT. SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT."
BUT ONLY 25 YEARS? TO ME THAT JUST ISN'T ENOUGH. SHE WILL PROBABLY BE A GOOD GIRL, GET COUNSELING, GET PAROLED AND THEN WHAT? DO IT AGAIN? ONLY THE NEXT TIME SHE MIGHT DO MORE THAN JUST THROW THE CHILD ACROSS THE ROOM. IT DOESN'T MAKE A LOT OF SENSE DOES IT?
OOPS, caps were on? Was I yelling? Of course I was. A baby. An innocent baby, who what? Had one too many wet diapers? Or cried because they were hungry? A gift from GOD. And she just throws it across a room, like a ragdoll. So many people out there who want children, and someone like this gets blessed with a child and ... well enough of the bandstand I guess,,, I will never be able to comprehend this,,, so many things I can not even pretend to comprehend yet this is one of the worst ones. Makes me sick to my stomach.
In a way there seems there should be some kind of answer,, yet there never is. No answer justifies this behavoir,, okay so back on the bandstand.
I highly doubt this will be one of my better blogs. My fingers are moving faster than my brain,, it is stuck in one mode tonight. Yet my fingers don't want to stop typing.
Have you ever wondered what goes thru the child's mind when this is type of thing is happening? Or any kind of abuse is happening for that matter. IS that child thinking,, "But Mommy, I love you. Why don't you love me? Why do you have to hurt me? Why can't you just take me in your arms and hold me and stop the hurt and make it go away."
They, science that is, says that baby's don't remember when they were young, that they don't remember until they are older, maybe that is because they are still remembering another lifetime or something like that. Maybe they are trying to adjust to being born, maybe they know what they are up against from birth. Millions of questions run thru my mind like this, especially when I read something like this happening.
There are no excuses that can even begin to explain why someone hurts a child. NONE whatsoever.
When I say they have been bugging me, I think I mean my guardian angels, my guiding spirits whatever you want to call them. At least someone has been bugging me to write all day, and now that I am getting around to it, this is all I can think about to write about. The one story that stuck in my head this morning as I checked out the headlines. So many things happening in my own world and all I can think about is that child, I wish I knew what words to say to comfort all the children who get abused. But those words, like,, "it will be taken care of" or "we will get you help" or even the old stand by,, "here sweetie let mommy kiss it and make it all better", none of those seem adequate enough to help. Sad isn't it?
Forgive any spelling errors pls, when I go into one of these auto writing sessions, usually there are one or two spelling and grammer mistakes. In fact, I sometimes think I should have an editor sitting beside me saying,, oh no,, you can't put that comma here, or you can't use a double negative there, but then I doubt that will ever happen. So how do I explain these? Well,
All I can say is I just write what is in my mind, my fingers just type the words my mind, my heart, my soul is hearing. Maybe it will never be a best seller, I will probably never be rich or famous for it, but that is how it's done. I just type the words that I hear or feel is maybe a better word than hear. IT doesn't require much thinking on my part I just type it and somehow the message gets to where ever it is supposed to get to.
Next time someone gets upset with a baby for crying, or because they want to do something else, they should stop,, LISTEN for the laughter, listen to songs of the birds, or the crickets chirp, or the cat's meow. Listen with their souls, their minds, their heart, and not their ears. The sound may be completely different then. There is one particular bird that when it chirps it sounds like it is saying
"TEACHER
Well, I guess it's time to quit rambling. Time to close my eyes, and maybe I won't dream of that child the one who is so prevalent in my mind. OR maybe the writing is so that I won't be tempted to close my eyes and sleep, because of the dreams I am afraid I might have. Everyone is afraid of something, I suppose. My biggest fear, at one time was snakes, now my biggest fear is what I might do or say if I ever see a child being abused. I am not one to keep quiet about it, I am one who would call the cops in a heartbeat, who would probably walk right up and grab the person by the hair of the head and just start shaking. I am the one who would probably end up sitting in jail because I tried to stop something like this from happening. I have to accept that fact about myself ,, and you know something?? I AM DARN PROUD THAT I AM THAT KIND OF PERSON. I KNOW THAT PRIDE IS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE CONSIDERED A SIN, BUT THE FACT THAT I WOULD GO TO BAT FOR A CHILD, ANY CHILD, EVEN IF I DIDN'T KNOW THEM WELL I AM PROUD OF THAT. YEAH I REALLY AM.
(c) A.J. Angerstein
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