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Bad Days
March 26 2011

Everyone has them. I highly doubt that even in the caveman days, or the days that existed back some thousands of years ago that someone didn't think, "man, this has been one bad day." Yesterday was one of those days for me, and it just seemed to get worse.

I have a friend who has brain cancer. I do whatever I can to help this friend. Her family is of no use what so ever. They rarely come around, they do not want to accept the fact that mamma is living with brain cancer. They chide her for almost everything when they do come around and when they do it is usually to get money from momma to dry their clothes because their dryer broke or to finish buying something they want. Of course, when I say I had a bad day, I realize that hers is worse. What started out to be just a close friendship has turned into a will you please do this or that for me, and if I am able I will do it. However, with my disability, I am unable to do certain things. Little things like walk too far, because I am walking with a cain and quickly headed for a wheelchair apparently. I can't lift, or bend over too much, and it doesn't seem to really matter what I do, my neck may pop or my back may go out at the simplests of tasks. Last night I ended up in the emergency room. Then I received a good dressing down from my family who loves me very much but doesn't understand that I would rather 'die in my tracks' than to just lay there and not do a darn thing. I think families sometimes do this. They don't understand that people who are getting old and physically challenged would rather just try their best to keep going than give it up. Sure, we are willing to rest, or to lay in bed comfortably or uncomfortably if that is the case until we get to the poing where we no longer can stand those 4 walls. I guess there are peole who do just give it up but I am not one of them. Needless to say, the bad day has lapped over to today. I finally told them, do you actually think I LIKE having to do this, to lay around and just read or not do anything? And no, I do not want a laptop, those things drive me crazy. The keys are too close, I have to hold my hands in a way that it hurts, so don't even think about getting me one. I will take it back and you will have your money put back on the credit card. Sometimes it just makes me want to pack a small bag and just get the 'h-----' out of dodge so to speak. My friend is on hospice, yet her body has not reached the point where it is ready to die. Of course, being a believer in a Great Creator, I am inclined to believe we are on a journey of learning lessons in this life time. I guess I am not doing too good of job at learning the lesson of growing old gracefully as my daughter put it. For if I wake up in the morning, it is a sign for me to get up and enjoy the sunshine, to look at a new bud on a tree, to help someone in whatever way I can who can't get up and do these things for themselves. I admit that sometimes I overdo. But I can not get it out of my head that someone, a friend, might need me to grab a roll of paper towels for her, because she can't get out of bed and grab them for herself. Just because a person is physically challenged does not mean they are mentally challenged. Why can't I make my family understand that? I guess it is because I am stubborn, and would rather fall into the next journey while helping someone else, or watching a sunset or sunrise rather than miss the wonderous joy of not having these experiences. One never knows from one minute to the next what life might bring. The lessons are unlimited. There is humility, dignity, joy, sadness, illness, great health, love, and the opposite, hate, just to name a few. IF I were to cross that river today, then I would know without a doubt I did everything possible to help someone else and in doing so, I helped my self and someone else I cared about, and not just the friend. Isn't that worth a little pain? I have heard that we are supposed to give till it hurts and to treat others the way you want to be treated. I agree with that statement and when it says give till you hurt it doesn't always mean hurting in your pocket book. If it meant that, then I would never be able to hurt at all. My pocketbook stays empty, as does mosts of the world.

Have a blessed day, and try to perform a random act of kindness today, you feel surprise at how much better you can sleep.

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